


Puzzle Pieces

by thenobleevils44



Series: Femslash February 2021 [5]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Break Up, Drabble, F/F, Femslash February, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Mass Effect 3, One Shot, Paragon Turned Renegade Shepard, Prompt: Blue, Reapers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenobleevils44/pseuds/thenobleevils44
Summary: “Killing Wrex? Yeah. He tried shooting me. You have the footage saved somewhere, don’t you? Take a look for yourself.”“That’s not what I mean, Shepard. Dooming them all. Was it necessary?”Or,Liara doesn't know who Shepard truly is anymore.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni
Series: Femslash February 2021 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163189
Kudos: 11





	Puzzle Pieces

“Was it really necessary, Shepard?”

Liara spoke casually, directly facing to her monitors while Shepard stood politely waiting at the door before routinely entering the Shadow Broker’s room.

The commander’s skin, cracked with unnatural red lights, unsettled her slightly but she tried not to let it show. There was a time not long ago where her skin was only littered with faded and fresh battle scars. Now the commander’s very own morals marked over her entire body, slowly stretching further each day she spent out on the field fighting in this seemingly impossible war.

Shepard had been through more than any normal human should have been able to manage. She suffered through impossible battle after battle. Sovereign, the Collectors and now the Reapers. She shouldn’t still be standing her. Hell, she’d even died. Liara had been the one to recover her half-decomposed corpse to burden her with the responsibility of fighting for Cerberus. A fight which she suffered through and defeated well.

But Shepard’s physical state wasn’t what was bothering Liara. No, her girlfriend’s body may be falling apart leaving the implants which held her together exposed to the world, but Shepard's looks didn’t matter at all to Liara.

It was her mental state which Liara was tearing herself apart over.

“Killing Wrex? Yeah. He tried shooting me. You have the footage saved somewhere, don’t you? Take a look for yourself.”

“That’s not what I mean, Shepard. Dooming them all. Was it necessary?”

“To win the war, yes. I had to carry out that decision. Earth’s fate depended on it.”

“But you’ve doomed the Krogan! You murdered our friend without even blinking. I watched how quickly you pulled that trigger. No hesitation. Did you even care, Shepard? Or was he just another tool that outwore its use for the war effort?”

Shepard’s body straightened as she stepped into the room. Liara shuffled a few steps away; she still couldn’t face looking at the commander. Her voice echoed sternly through the room. Not a hint of regret in her tone. Just sheer determination.

“I fight for Earth above everyone and everything. If I have to sacrifice millions to save the lives of billions, I’ll do it. It’s why the illusive man brought me back to life. It’s why the alliance picked me to go to Eden Prime. I’m the only person with the strength to make these decisions. So, I must.”

“The illusive man has really rubbed off on you huh? Humanity first. You were never like this before Shepard. Is that why you were so quick to let Samara die? Is that why you then murdered Falere? For humanity?”

“Samara shot herself because she couldn’t face what she had to do. I honoured her death by summoning the courage to take the responsibility for her.”

“That’s such bullshit! You didn’t do it for her! You don’t regret assassinating her!”

“Nor do I regret killing 300 million Batarians. Or allowing my ship’s previous crew to die at the hands of the collectors. I’m thoroughly aware of my past Liara, why are you dragging this up?”

“Because you aren’t the woman that I fell in love with anymore! You used to be so kind. You used to try and prevent conflict where you could instead of proactively seeking it. But after I became the Shadow Brooker, something changed in you. I don’t recognise who you are anymore.”

“I’m the woman you burdened with saving the galaxy Liara. My body isn’t my own. My sins are plastered across my body. The red of their blood stains my face. I see them all each time I look into a mirror. The people I’ve slaughtered are in the hundreds of millions. Quite soon perhaps billions if the war continues like this. This is who I am now. I am Shepard.”

Tears streamed down Liara’s face as she turned to face Shepard, who stood emotionlessly by glyph. Her glowing red skin looked similar to glyph’s own blue glowing interface. Both of them where now robotic creatures made for a purpose.

Liara couldn’t even perceive Shepard as human anymore. Not with the way she stood so calmly, gazing across the room at Liara as if she were a monitor rather than the Asari she used to love.

Long gone where the nights they used to spend staring at the stars, aimlessly travelling around in the Mako to spend some extra time together or chatting in the room behind the medical bay. This war had stolen it away from them both. Shepard was a hollow shell of who she once was.

But perhaps that’s what she needed to be to save earth. Cruel. Cold. Calculated. 

Saving Mordin. Killing Wrex. Reprimanding Joker. They had been puzzle pieces to her. These where all just moves in the puzzle game Shepard had been forced into playing.

It was clear now to Liara that lives weren’t all the reapers took. They had stolen Shepard’s soul as well.

The silence lay heavy on Liara as she turned to walk towards her bed. A glare was all it took for Shepard to get the unspoken message. “I can’t be with you anymore. This is another battle you’ll be forced to wage alone. I’m so sorry.” Perhaps, Shepard took pity on her own broken body as the tears continued to stream down her face. Or maybe she truly didn’t care anymore to even attempt to make her case.

Her robotic voice echoed through the room as she turned to leave Liara to grief what they once had. To mourn the woman she had lost.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to inform the rest of the crew about Wrex. You can miss out on the upcoming mission. Farewell, Liara.”

Shepard vacated the room, her footsteps clearly signalling she was going towards the med bay, most likely to chat with Doctor Chakwas. Another face from the past who didn’t seem to care that Shepard was no longer the same as she used to be. Garrus didn’t care either. Both where just content to have Shepard in their lives, even if she was just a ruthless killing machine.

So why did she? Her friends still loved Shepard despite her new attitude and flaws. So why couldn’t she? These questions hung heavily on Liara’s head as she tried to piece together where exactly she’d lost the previous version of Shepard. Earth? Mars? The Citadel? It didn’t really matter in the end. She still had a war to fight, orders to give and lives to save just like Shepard did. She couldn’t mourn her loss until after the war was over. 

So, with a troubled heart Liara forced herself to return to her post. Just like the Commander, the Shadow Broker couldn't rest until this war was over. Words coated with pain fell from her lips, talking to someone who both literally and metaphorically wasn't there anymore, as she forced herself to start typing and blinking through her teary eyes.

“Farewell, Shepard.”

**Author's Note:**

> I mostly do all Renegade dialogue options when I replay the trilogy but only a total monster wouldn't apologize to Joker :'D


End file.
